The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method offers a clear path forward through small changes like these. Developed by John and Julie Gottman from decades of research with real couples, the approach shows how small differences in the way an interaction unfolds can change where the conversation goes.

That research produced findings that are unusually concrete for a therapy model. Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, which the Gottmans call the Four Horsemen, reliably predict trouble, and each one has a specific antidote a couple can practice.

At 1A Wellness, we value the Gottman approach because it is practical, specific, and hopeful. Good communication is not something you either have or you don’t. It can be learned. The work gives couples concrete ways to raise hard things, lower escalation, get out of gridlock, repair after conflict, and strengthen the friendship and connection underneath it.

Gottman work at 1A Wellness usually begins with a structured assessment: a session together, a session with each partner alone, and questionnaires that map where the relationship is strong and where it is stuck. From there the work is directed. It suits couples who want to know what they are working on and why, and it combines naturally with emotion-focused therapy and Internal Family Systems, which several of our clinicians also use.

Our founder’s early couples research grew directly out of the Gottman tradition, including hundreds of hours studying interactions moment by moment. That work showed how one phrase, one expression, or one different response can change the direction of a conversation, and how, over time, those small shifts can change the course of a relationship.